Bootiful Night
by Anthony W
Summary: Larry and his family go on a trick-or-treating adventure.


Father of the Pride

Bootiful Night

ACT 1

The scene opens to Larry's house at night. It is decorated with Halloween-styled decorations. Halloween music is playing in the background. The scene cuts to Kate, who is dressed up as a witch, waiting outside the bedroom door.

KATE

Come on, Larry. Almost done in there?

LARRY

Okay! I'm ready!

KATE

Finally.

Kate stands back. Larry bursts out from the bedroom, dressed up as Jimi Hendrix.

LARRY

Ta-da!

KATE

Wow! Who are you supposed to be?

LARRY

I'm Jimi Hendrix!

KATE

Cool!

Larry proceeds to sing a parody of Hendrix's song "Hey, Joe."

LARRY

Hey, Kate

Where you goin' with that hat on your head?

Kate giggles as Larry sings the tune.

KATE

Okay. Stop it, Larry.

Larry continues to sing to tease Kate.

LARRY

Hey, Kate

I said where you goin' with that hat on your head?

KATE

Okay, Larry. I get it. Please stop already.

Larry keeps singing.

LARRY

I'm goin' down to splash the old lady

You know I'm gonna make her melt right into the ground

KATE

Okay! Larry! Stop it!

Kate playfully smacks Larry, who finally stops and laughs.

LARRY

Ah, I'm just teasin' ya, Kate. Happy Halloween.

Larry hugs Kate, who hugs him back.

KATE

Happy Halloween, "Larry Hendrix".

Larry laughs. Then he and Kate kiss.

LARRY

Say, uh, where the kids at? Are they done puttin' on their costumes?

KATE

I don't know. Let's go check.

Larry and Kate go to Sierra's room. Kate knocks on her door.

KATE

Sierra, are you done in there?

Sierra's voice is heard from inside her room.

SIERRA

Yes, Mom. I'm ready.

Kate opens her door and she and Larry walk in and are amazed by Sierra's costume.

KATE

Wow, Sierra. You look so pretty.

SIERRA

Thanks, Mom.

The scene cuts to Sierra, who is dressed up as the Bride of Frankenstein.

SIERRA

I'm the Bride of Frankenstein. I sure look beautiful, don't I?

LARRY

Yep. You sure do, sweetie.

KATE

Is Hunter ready yet?

SIERRA

Beats me. He's been in his room for a while now.

Larry, Kate, and Sierra go to Hunter's door. Sierra knocks on the door.

SIERRA

Hunter, are you done in there?

Hunter speaks from inside his room in a raspy voice.

HUNTER

They stole the precious from us!

Larry, Kate, and Sierra are a bit startled by this. Sierra scoffs and rolls her eyes.

HUNTER

Sneaky Hobbitses! Wicked! Tricksy! False!

SIERRA

Please, Hunter! You've been Gollum for the last 5 years!

LARRY

Hunter, are you okay in there?

HUNTER

Go away.

KATE

Hunter, we wanna see if you're done with your costume. Please let us come in.

HUNTER

"Go away?!"

Hunter laughs evilly.

SIERRA

Hunter, let us in right this instant!

HUNTER

Leave now and never come back!

SIERRA

I said let us in!

HUNTER

Leave! Now! And never come back!

Having had enough, Sierra slams Hunter's door open. Hunter is crouching down and growls at them, dressed up as Gollum.

SIERRA

Hunter, come on. Stop acting like that. This is ridiculous.

Hunter growls at her.

HUNTER

Gollum! Gollum!

Larry chuckles.

LARRY

Okay, buddy. Enough of that. Let's go.

Larry picks Hunter up from his right arm and starts to walk him out of the room, only for Hunter to pull away.

LARRY

Hunter, I'm serious. No more monkey business.

HUNTER

We be nice to you if you be nice to us!

LARRY

All right, fine. Could you please come into the living room with us?

Hunter growls. Then he gets on all fours and crawls out of his room.

HUNTER

Out of our way!

Hunter pushes Sierra out of his way and hops into the living room.

SIERRA

Hunter!

Larry and Kate glance at each other in confusion and walk into the living room with Sierra.

KATE

What's with Hunter? Why is he acting like this? He's not a mean kid.

LARRY

I don't know. I guess maybe since it's Halloween and he's dressing up as Gollum, I'm assuming he wants to act like him.

KATE

Well, I hope he still behaves like his normal self. It's gonna be lots of trouble if he keeps acting like this.

Sarmoti appears into the room, dressed as Dracula. He holds his cape up against his muzzle.

SARMOTI

So, who's ready to get this party...

Sarmoti uncovers his muzzle, revealing his false vampire teeth and baring his claws.

SARMOTI

...Started?!

Kate chuckles.

KATE

You look pretty snazzy for a vampire, Dad.

SARMOTI

Oh, I'm not just any vampire, Kate. (Transylvanian accent) I am Count Dracula!

Sarmoti notices Larry's costume.

SARMOTI

(Normal voice) And who are you supposed to be?

LARRY

This year, I'm goin' as one of my favorite singers: Jimi Hendrix.

Satisfied with his costume, Larry smiles.

SARMOTI

Really? How you gonna get around in those tight pants of yours?

LARRY

Hey, they're not even that tight. And don't worry. I'll get around just fine.

SIERRA

Hey, Grandpa. I'm going as the Bride of Frankenstein. How do I look?

Sierra smiles as she poses for Sarmoti to take a look at her costume.

SARMOTI

Gorgeous, Sierra. So gorgeous, in fact, that I just managed to stop myself from vanting to suck your blood.

Sierra chuckles. Hunter hops toward Sarmoti, snarling.

SARMOTI

Oh! Who are you, my boy?

LARRY

He's Gollum from Lord of the Rings. But he's not acting like himself right now.

SARMOTI

Is that so?

Sarmoti bends down toward Hunter.

SARMOTI

Excited for tonight's special event, Hunter?

HUNTER

Gollum!

SARMOTI

I'll take that as a yes.

Sarmoti stands back up.

SARMOTI

Anyway, let's go.

Everyone is about to head out the door when Snack's voice is heard.

SNACK

Wait! What about my costume?

Everyone turns to look. Snack jumps up on the table, dressed up as Michael Jackson from the "Thriller" music video.

SNACK

Hee-hee!

LARRY

Whoa! That's pretty cool, Snack!

SNACK

Thanks, Larry! This year, I'm goin' out as Michael Jackson!

Snack spins and thrusts his arm out.

SNACK

Uhh!

Snack grabs his crotch and thrusts it up and down, then spins.

SNACK

Hee-hee! Tuh!

Snack stands up on his toes like Jackson while doing jazz paws.

SNACK

Cha'mone!

LARRY

That's great, pal. Now come on.

SNACK

I'm tellin' ya, Larry! This year is gonna be a thriller! Ha ha ha!

As the family heads out the door, Larry closes the door behind him with his left paw. The scene cuts to Siegfried and Roy.

SIEGFRIED

Oh, yes. My favorite time of year! Halloveen!

ROY

Yes! Only my second favorite holiday from Viener Schnitzel Year's Day!

SIEGFRIED

Ah, of course! VSY Day!

Siegfried starts singing.

SIEGFRIED

Oh, viener schnitzel, oh, viener schnitzel! Za feels so good in my mouth!

ROY

Sing it, brother!

Siegfried stops singing.

SIEGFRIED

Enough! Ve must find out vat ve should do for Halloveen!

ROY

Think... vat to go as?

SIEGFRIED

I got it!

ROY

Vat? Vat is it?

SIEGFRIED

I lost it.

ROY

Vell, think again!

SIEGFRIED

I got it!

Roy is getting irritated.

ROY

Spit it out!

SIEGFRIED

How about ze American football players?

ROY

Blech! Helmets and pads! Sounds like a feminine care product!

SIEGFRIED

Oh, fine. You are just mad because I look stunning in a jersey!

ROY

Ah, zis is true.

SIEGFRIED

Oh, my! I have an idea! Vat vould our good friend Chuck Norris do?

ROY

Oh, ja! Vhen in doubt, ask Chuck! Quick, Siegfried! Get on ze computer box and use ze Googlehein!

Siegfried gets on the computer.

SIEGFRIED

Okay. I am on now. Let me search.

Siegfried searches up Chuck Norris.

SIEGFRIED

"Chuck Norris..." "Halloveen..." Ah! It says here vhen Chuck vas a lad, he dressed up as himself for Halloveen and got thrice as much candy as all ze other children! Roy! Ve must go as ourselves and zhen ve vill get thrice as much candy!

ROY

Thrice?! Oh, it is so much better zhan twice!

SIEGFRIED

Zhen it is settled! Ve vill go as... Siegfried und Roy!

Siegfried and Roy pose in a heroic manner.

The scene cuts back to the lions, who are trick-or-treating. Larry and Kate greet Chutney, who passes by and is also trick-or-treating. He is dressed as a ghost.

LARRY

Happy Halloween, Chutney!

CHUTNEY

Same to you, Larry! You look just like Jimi!

Pleased, Larry chuckles. Next, Larry and Kate greet Roger, who is dressed as a clown.

ROGER

Evenin', Larry!

LARRY

Happy Halloween!

ROGER

Check this out!

Roger honks his clown nose and does a silly dance, laughing maniacally. Larry and Kate laugh at this, but Hunter (who is still acting like Gollum) rolls his eyes at this and grumbles to himself.

HUNTER

Ugh. Stupid, fat, pathetic clown.

Roger takes out a banana peel and slips on it, falling down on his butt and grunting in pain. Larry laughs at this.

LARRY

I like your little act there, Roger. But you're usually supposed to be scary on Halloween.

Offended, Roger throws a fit.

ROGER

Ohh... why do you always have to ruin things for me, ya party pooper?!

Roger grabs the banana peel and throws it at Larry, who shields his face as it hits his arm. Then Roger leaves in a huff. Snack notices the banana peel.

SNACK

Hey, look! A banana peel! Maybe I should give it to my chimp Bubbles!

LARRY

That's a good one, Snack. But enough jokes for now.

SNACK

Come on, Larry. What else could Bubbles have as a treat? Besides my Jesus Juice?

LARRY

Snack...

Snack gets disappointed and stops joking.

SNACK

Okay.

SARMOTI

Hey, little buddy. Don't worry. Hopefully, he got arrested for touching those gullible kids in his own home.

Larry is getting a bit irritated.

LARRY

Sarmoti, enough of that crap about Michael Jackson. It's not true. Michael loves children. He would never do anything to harm them or anybody. Michael is a very loving, selfless, caring man.

SARMOTI

Ah, you just don't wanna admit that he was guilty. I mean, he looked freaky and he does fit the profile of a pedofile for sure.

SNACK

As Michael said in Ghosts, I'm tired of bein' abused! You know you're scarin' me, too! I see the evil is you!

SARMOTI

Knock it off, you pedofile impostor.

KATE

Dad! Stop it already!

Sarmoti chuckles.

SARMOTI

Okay. Whatever you say.

Sarmoti turns to Larry.

SARMOTI

But just so you know, he is one guilty weirdo.

Larry growls under his breath and Sarmoti smugly smiles as they continue walking.

HUNTER

Michael Jackson is nothing but a circus freak!

Hunter switches to Smeagol.

HUNTER

But Michael's a friend!

Hunter switches back to Gollum.

HUNTER

No! He's one of your worst nightmares ever! He will touch you! Hurt you! Lie!

Upon hearing Hunter, Kate looks down at him and turns to Sierra.

KATE

Now, Sierra, don't forget to take your brother trick-or-treating.

Hunter switches back to Smeagol.

HUNTER

But I love Michael! He's such an angel.

Hunter switches back to Gollum.

HUNTER

And you will be touched by that so-called "angel"!

Kate is still talking to Sierra, who is reluctant to look after Hunter.

SIERRA

Aww, Mom! I don't wanna take the little creep trick-or-treating! I'd rather go to a party!

Hunter looks up at Sierra and growls.

HUNTER

We are not creeps! It is you who is the creep!

KATE

Sorry, but we can't find a babysitter for Hunter. Besides, it won't take that long.

SIERRA

Mom, he can take care of himself!

KATE

He's too young, Sierra. You're much older than him, so you can watch over him.

HUNTER

Must... have... the precious! Candy is the precious! The precious!

Kate and Sierra sigh at Hunter's behavior.

KATE

He's seen too much Lord of the Rings.

Kate gives Sierra a stern look, making her relent and oblige.

SIERRA

(Sighs) Fine. I'll take him.

KATE

Thank you.

Sierra takes Hunter by the hand as they watch the rest of the family leave. As soon as they are out of sight, Sierra talks to Hunter.

SIERRA

All right, I have an idea. I'm gonna take you to a party! Won't that be cooler than some dumb trick-or-treating that's just the same every year?

HUNTER

Candy! It's the precious! Must have!

SIERRA

If you behave yourself, I'll get you a really big bag of candy! They always have tons at parties!

HUNTER

Candy! The precious!

SIERRA

Yeah, precious... come on, let's go. I hear there's gonna be music. You like music, right?

HUNTER

Candy!

SIERRA

Yes. There'll be candy. I promise.

Sierra and Hunter head over to the party. When they arrive, Sierra sees some of her friends dancing to music, including Justin, who is dressed up as Frankenstein's Monster.

JUSTIN

Hey! Happy Halloween, Sierra! You look hot!

SIERRA

Hi, Justin! So do you!

Sierra notices a band on stage that appear to be practicing.

SIERRA

All right, Hunter. Stick close.

HUNTER

Must... have... candy!

SIERRA

Yes! I get it! Now come on, let's get a good view of the bands!

Sierra drags Hunter up front to the stage, pushing through the crowd. On the way, Hunter notices an even bigger table filled with candy in a pumpkin bucket on a table next to a punch bowl, everything from chocolate bars to lollipops to 5-pound gummy bears.

HUNTER

Candy! Must have! DELICIOUS CANDY!

SIERRA

In a minute!

Sierra drags Hunter, who keeps his eyes on the candy table.

HUNTER

We wants it! We needs it!

Hunter manages to escape Sierra's clutches and runs toward the candy table.

SIERRA

Oh, great!

Just as Hunter is about to pounce on the candy, Sierra (who fought her way through the crowd) had grabbed him.

SIERRA

What are you doing?! Don't embarrass me!

HUNTER

Must... have!

SIERRA

Will you cut it out?! I said later, you can have candy!

As Sierra grabs hold onto Hunter, a beaver wearing a backwards baseball cap walks onto the stage.

BEAVER

All right, y'all! That was Blind as Bats performin' their song "It's All Sonic!" Next up, we have Deaf Leopard!

Sierra grabs Hunter by the arm and pulls him up to her harshly.

SIERRA

All right, mister. You listen and listen good. I'm gonna go up onstage to talk to Deaf Leopard's lead singer. I heard through a friend of mine that he's got a thing for white lions, so don't screw this up for me!

HUNTER

Candy!

SIERRA

Shut it and behave!

Sierra walks closer to the stage to watch the band perform, but Hunter has other things on his mind, having the candy table on his focus. He devises a plan, figuring he would attack when Sierra wasn't looking. Liking this idea, Hunter chuckles evilly to himself.

HUNTER

Yes. We have a plan, precious.

Hunter stays put and waits for the band to finish playing. After the band played their set, they had walked offstage to hang out with some friends in the crowd.

SIERRA

All right! Come on!

Sierra drags Hunter to the band in the crowd. She begins to talk to a white tiger named Jayson, who is the lead guitarist.

SIERRA

Hey. I just wanted to say, you guys were awesome.

JAYSON

Thanks.

SIERRA

Yeah. I heard about you guys through a friend of mine. My friend Megan told me she's a close friend of yours.

Jayson chuckles.

JAYSON

I know a lot of Megans.

SIERRA

She's a tiger, likes to wear eyeliner, and has kind of a lisp.

JAYSON

I know who you're talking about. Yeah, we're cool.

SIERRA

Well, she told me about you guys and well... yeah. By the way, my name's Sierra.

JAYSON

I'm Jayson.

Sierra shakes Jayson's paw. While Sierra is making an attempt to woo Jayson, she fails to realize that Hunter had gotten out of sight and noticed the candy table. The scene cuts to Hunter sneaking up on the table, his eyes focused on the candy.

HUNTER

Precious!

The scene cuts back to Sierra and Jayson.

SIERRA

I didn't know you were a Pearl Jam fan!

JAYSON

Yeah. They're kind of an inspiration to me.

SIERRA

That's so cool.

JAYSON

I think you're kinda cool.

Just then, Sierra realizes that Hunter is gone.

SIERRA

(Gasps) Oh no!

JAYSON

What?

SIERRA

Uh... listen. I'll be right back.

Sierra nervously giggles and quickly leaves. Dumbfounded, Jayson stands there. Sierra starts to search for Hunter, but it is hard to find him in the crowd. She bumps into other teenagers having a good time and dancing to the music.

SIERRA

Oh, sorry.

Sierra bumps into Justin.

SIERRA

Oh! Sorry, Justin!

JUSTIN

What's your rush, Sierra?

SIERRA

Oh, I'm just looking for my brother. He ran off somewhere.

JUSTIN

Okay. Well, he better not be causing any mischief.

SIERRA

I sure hope not either.

Sierra continues to make her way through the crowd and becomes frustrated.

SIERRA

Grr! That kid is so dead when I get him!

The scene cuts to Hunter running off with the bucket full of candy, snickering evilly to himself.

HUNTER

We got the precious, my love!

The scene cuts to black.

ACT 2

The scene cuts back to the episode. Siegfried and Roy are trick-or-treating, with Siegfried as Roy and Roy as Siegfried.

ROY

So Siegfried-

SIEGFRIED

No! You are Siegfried! I am Roy!

ROY

Oh, right. So Roy?

SIEGFRIED

Ja, Siegfried?

ROY

Are you sure zis vas a good idea?

SIEGFRIED

Of course! After all, Chuck Norris did it, so ve could get thrice as much as he!

Siegfried and Roy walk up to a nearby house. Siegfried knocks on the door and a man opens it.

SIEGFRIED AND ROY

Trick or treat!

MAN

Siegfried? Roy?

SIEGFRIED

No, no. I am Roy, this is Siegfried.

ROY

Hello.

MAN

Why are you dressed like that?

ROY

Because ve are ourselves for Halloveen!

SIEGFRIED AND ROY

Trick or treat!

MAN

You two are too old for this!

The man slams the door shut. Siegfried begins to bang on the door.

SIEGFRIED

Ach! Ve are never too old!

Siegfried stops banging and turns toward Roy.

SIEGFRIED

I told you zey vould not let us have any!

Siegfried shoves Roy.

ROY

Well, I am sorry I vanted to have fun!

Roy shoves Siegfried.

SIEGFRIED

Zis is ze vorst time of ze year!

ROY

You are ze vorst time of ze year!

SIEGFRIED

I vish ve never vould have done zis!

ROY

I vish ze same thing!

SIEGFRIED

Vell, I vish- vait!

ROY

Vat?

SIEGFRIED

I have an idea! How about ve go out as our actual selves and perform for Halloveen?

ROY

Hey, ja! Let us do zat!

SIEGFRIED

All right! It is settled!

ROY

Vat a great idea, Roy!

SIEGFRIED

No! You are Roy! I am Siegfried!

ROY

Oh. Okay.

SIEGFRIED

Und it vill always be Siegfried!

The scene cuts to Hunter running out onto the road, holding the bucket of candy and panting.

HUNTER

I thinks we lost her, precious. She can't get you now!

Hunter laughs evilly and runs off. The scene cuts to Larry, Kate, Sarmoti, and Snack trick-or-treating. Sarmoti has his bag open and Bernie drops some candy in it.

SARMOTI

Thanks a lot, Bernie. Happy Halloween.

Sarmoti waves and Bernie waves back.

LARRY

Hey, what's with Bernie? Why isn't he trick-or-treating?

SARMOTI

Ah, he decided to play poker without me. 'Cause I said I'd be busy with Halloween.

LARRY

I see.

Hunter notices them.

HUNTER

Oh, no! It's the freaks! Quick! We must avoids them, precious!

Hunter runs off in the opposite direction, but Larry, Kate, Sarmoti, and Snack notice him.

SARMOTI

Hey, wasn't that Hunter? Where's he heading off to?

LARRY

And why has he got all that bucket of candy? That's too much for his stomach to handle.

SNACK

Let's go after him before he gets into any danger!

LARRY

Good idea. Hey, Hunter!

Larry, Kate, Sarmoti, and Snack begin to run after Hunter. Sierra is also running after him and joins the gang.

SIERRA

Come on, you guys! Let's get him together!

LARRY

Right!

The gang goes after Hunter.

HUNTER

Oh, no! They be chasing us, precious! We must runs away, precious! Run away!

Hunter continues to run away as the gang chases after him.

LARRY

Hey, and what happened to takin' him trick-or-treating?

SIERRA

I tried to, but he got away.

LARRY

Hmm.

Hunter keeps running and eventually runs out of the bushes, runs over to the lake near the Watering Hole, and speaks into it.

HUNTER

Hello, my precious, my love. Has Smeagol got the precious candy?

Hunter switches to Smeagol.

HUNTER

Yes. But they was chasing me. Trying to get the precious! They must be stopped!

Hunter switches back to Gollum.

HUNTER

Yes. They must be. And I have just the plan. First, we lead them to Shelob's lair.

Hunter switches back to Smeagol.

HUNTER

Oh, yeah. Great idea.

Hunter switches back to Gollum.

HUNTER

And if any Hobbitses get in the way, kill them especially. It will be wonderful. Especially on Halloween.

Hunter switches back to Smeagol.

HUNTER

What about the ring?

Hunter switches back to Gollum.

HUNTER

If someone has it, kill them and take it for us!

Hunter switches back to Smeagol.

HUNTER

Yes!

Hunter switches back to Gollum.

HUNTER

Happy Halloween, my love.

Hunter switches back to Smeagol.

HUNTER

Happy Halloween, precious!

Suddenly, Larry, Kate, Sierra, Sarmoti, and Snack burst in through the bushes.

SIERRA

Gotcha!

Immediately, Hunter turns around, startled.

SIERRA

Stop right there, ya little villain!

LARRY

Son, I think it's time for you to come back home with us. You're starting to get a little outta hand.

HUNTER

No!

LARRY

Hunter, I'm serious.

SIERRA

Yeah! And another thing, stop with this Gollum thing! It's getting on my nerves!

Hunter hisses at Sierra.

SIERRA

Oh. So you wanna do it the hard way, huh?

HUNTER

Don't even think about it!

SIERRA

Oh, yeah?! Tough guy?!

Sierra lunges at Hunter, but the others hold her back.

SIERRA

Lemme at him! Lemme at him!

HUNTER

Do not resist or else we shall take you to spider Shelob's lair!

It is here that Sierra realizes that Hunter is serious. She is shocked.

SIERRA

Wait. You actually think you're THE Gollum?

Sierra begins to laugh.

SIERRA

Oh, all this time, I thought it was an act! Hey, everyone, look! It's the real Gollum!

HUNTER

Mocking us, you are?

SIERRA

Oh, no. No. No way.

Suddenly, Sierra whips around and points up at nothing.

SIERRA

Hunter, look! Shelob!

Immediately, Hunter turns around.

HUNTER

Where?!

Sierra bursts out laughing, pointing at Hunter, who scowls after realizing he was tricked. She slaps her knee and collapses, laughing hysterically. Hunter scowls at Sierra and growls.

SARMOTI

Uh, Smeagol?

Hunter looks up at Sarmoti with a calm expression.

SARMOTI

I don't mean to spoil your fun, but why don't you give us some of the candy? That seems like a bit too much for ya.

Hunter is about to give Sarmoti the bucket.

HUNTER

Oh, sure!

Hunter switches to Gollum and pulls the bucket away.

HUNTER

No! Our candy!

Hunter switches back to Smeagol.

HUNTER

But we can lead you to Shelob's lair! It will grant you all safe passing into Mordor!

Smiling, Hunter nods. The others simply look at him.

LARRY

(Whispering) Just go along with it.

SARMOTI

So where is this lair that you speak of?

HUNTER

Follow us and we'll shows ya!

Hunter hops off and the others follow suit. The scene cuts to Siegfried and Roy at their Halloween talent show.

ROY

Thank you all for coming! Tonight is a very special night of all ze nights in ze vorld! Yes, tonight...

SIEGFRIED

Is...

SIEGFRIED AND ROY

Halloveen!

The crowd cheers and applauds as Siegfried and Roy clap their hands to reveal red smoke all around and orange lights, along with Halloween decorations, including gravestones with "R.I.P." written on them, pumpkins sitting next to the gravestones, a fake moon hanging on top, and a swarm of bats flying around. At the same time, the lions arrive.

LARRY

Is this the lair you were talking about?

HUNTER

Yes! Yes, it is!

The scene cuts to a close-up of Larry.

LARRY

This is a talent show. This is not Shelob's lair-

Larry looks down to talk to Hunter, but is surprised to find him gone.

LARRY

Hunter?

SIERRA

Oh, great! He's gone again!

Back to Siegfried and Roy's performance, the song "Grim Grinning Ghosts" begins to play.

SIEGFRIED

Vhen hinges creak in doorless chambers, and strange and frightening sounds echo zhrough ze halls, vhenever candlelights flicker vhere ze air is deathly still, zat is ze time vhen ghosts are present, practicing zheir terror vith ghoulish delight!

Siegfried laughs evilly as the lights begin to flicker to add an ominous effect. Performers dressed as ghosts, witches, zombies, werewolves, evil clowns, and vampires come out. The lions are amazed by this.

LARRY

Whoa! Look at that!

KATE

Wow!

LARRY

There are witches there! Just like you!

Kate giggles.

SIERRA

Look at those werewolves!

The costumed performers continue to roam around. Siegfried and Roy proceed to sing.

SIEGFRIED AND ROY

Vhen ze crypt doors creak and ze tombstones quake

Spooks come out for a swinging wake

Happy haunts materialize

Und begin to vocalize

Grim Grinning Ghosts come out to socialize

Now don't close your eyes and don't try to hide

Or a silly spook may sit by your side

Shrouded in a daft disguise

Zhey pretend to terrorize

Grim Grinning Ghosts come out to socialize

SIEGFRIED

Vhen you hear ze knell of a requiem bell

ROY

Weird glows gleam vhere spirits dwell

SIEGFRIED

Restless bones etherialize

ROY

Rise as spooks of every size

SIEGFRIED

Mwahahahahahahahaha!

Siegfried and Roy begin to levitate off the ground.

SIEGFRIED AND ROY

If you vould like to join our jamboree,

Zhere's a simple rule zhat's compulsory

Mortals pay a token fee

Rest in peace, ze haunting's free

So hurry back, ve vould like your company

The audience applauds.

LARRY

Whoa.

Siegfried and Roy land back onto the ground.

ROY

And now, for the next act!

Siegfried and Roy clap their hands to reveal Lord of the Rings decorations, including a giant scale model of the Shire, a huge cave in the back, and a huge volcano replica in the front. Two huge platforms covered with vines on each side stretch out at the very top past the fake moon. The song "Land of the Dead" begins to play. Performers dressed as Hobbits appear, which Hunter (who is in the back room watching) is shocked and disgusted.

HUNTER

(Gasps) Hobbitses!

Scowling, Hunter growls. Then he looks up and, upon noticing the prop moon, begins to freak out, shielding his face.

HUNTER

Agh! The White Face! Get away from us!

SIEGFRIED

A Minotaur's my butler, a Cyclops my valet

A Centaur draws my chariot zhat takes me down ze vay

Zhrough a river made of fire to a street zhat's paved with bones

I got a dozen zombie skeletons to valk me to my throne

As Siegfried continues singing, an animatronic Shelob runs out of the cave and starts attacking, freaking out Larry, Kate, Sierra, Sarmoti, and Snack. It runs toward the lions, who run out screaming.

SIERRA

Oh, my God!

KATE

Hunter!

LARRY

Hunter, where are you?! We're under attack by a giant spider!

SIERRA

Wait a minute! I bet he knew this spider was gonna try and kill us!

Sierra shakes with anger.

SIERRA

Ooh, that little j-e-r-k!

SIEGFRIED

I'm foreign out in ze underground

And you can't take zhat from me

Whoa

ROY

Whoa

SIEGFRIED

Whoa

ROY

Whoa

SIEGFRIED

Whoa

ROY

Whoa

In the middle of his dancing, Roy accidentally knocks over one of the gravestones, which falls on his foot.

ROY

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Larry flinches in pain at this.

SIEGFRIED

Cerberus, my lap dog, is loyal as can be

My bed is made of skulls; I'm in ze lap of luxury

I've got a Dragon's Blood jacuzzi; ze Gorgons zhink it's cool

And a seven-headed Hydra livin' in my swimmin' pool

In ze Land of ze Dead

Heck boy, ain't it grand?

I'm ze Overlord of ze Underworld

'Cause I hold Horror's Hand

In ze Land of ze Dead

I'm darkside royalty

I'm foreign out in ze underground

And you can't take zhat avay from me

No you can't take zhat from me

The audience applauds.

SIEGFRIED

And now, one last performance! Zis song deserves to be remembered for Halloveen!

Larry starts looking for Hunter.

LARRY

Hunter? Hunter?

Siegfried can be heard singing "When You're Evil" in the background. Larry notices something and points upward.

LARRY

There he is!

It is revealed that Hunter is climbing on one of the platforms, looking down at the performers dressed as Hobbits with hatred. He also has the One Ring with him.

SIERRA

With the ring!

Larry and Sierra run off to get to Hunter.

KATE

You guys be careful!

LARRY

We will!

Kate looks on, worried. The scene cuts to black.

ACT 3

The scene cuts back to the episode. While Siegfried and Roy continue to sing "When You're Evil," Larry and Sierra climb up on the platform, where they notice Hunter.

SIERRA

Hunter!

The camera zooms over to Hunter looking down, growling angrily at the performers dressed as Hobbits.

SIERRA

What are you doing?!

Hunter turns around.

HUNTER

We's about to kill the Hobbitses!

Hunter growls.

SIERRA

And you said going through the spider's lair wouldn't get us harmed!

HUNTER

Smeagol lied!

LARRY

And where'd you get that ring?

HUNTER

We founded it in that room.

Hunter points to the backroom.

HUNTER

We don't knows how it got there. Perhaps the Hobbitses tried to hide it!

Hunter scowls.

HUNTER

Oh, but at least we haves it now!

Hunter cuddles with the One Ring.

SIERRA

Hunter, give me that ring!

Sierra runs up to Hunter and tries to snatch the One Ring from him, but he pulls on it.

HUNTER

No!

SIERRA

Give it to me-!

Growling, Hunter pounces on Sierra.

SIERRA

Hunter!

Sierra and Hunter begin to fight. Siegfried is still singing in the background.

SIEGFRIED

I'm lying zhrough my teeth

Your tears are all ze company I need

Larry steps in and tugs on Hunter's arm.

LARRY

Hey, hey, knock it off!

Hunter hisses and scratches Larry's cheek, causing him pain and making him fall down.

LARRY

Ow!

Sierra and Hunter struggle for a bit until Hunter bites Sierra's finger, causing her great pain.

SIERRA

OWW!

Hunter hops off of Sierra as she runs over to Larry.

SIERRA

Dad, look what he did!

Larry is shocked to see Sierra's finger with bloody bite marks on it.

LARRY

Hunter, you're grounded!

Larry marches over to Hunter, who begins to back up.

HUNTER

You may takes us, but you'll never takes our...

Hunter backs up and falls down.

HUNTER

PREEEECIOOOOUSSSS!

The lions are devastated to see Hunter about to fall into the volcano.

LARRY AND SIERRA

(Gasps)

KATE, SARMOTI, AND SNACK

(Gasps)

As he is falling, Hunter smiles at the One Ring and hugs it.

HUNTER

Precious!

Finally, Hunter falls into the lava and at the same time, the song ends.

SIERRA

NOOOOOOO!

The audience applauds as Siegfried and Roy take a bow.

SIEGFRIED

Thank you! You have been a vonderful audience!

Thinking Hunter is dead, Sierra hugs Larry and cries as Larry pats her back in a comforting manner. Suddenly, a small door opens at the very back of the volcano and it spills Hunter out, along with the bucket of candy and the One Ring. Hunter also has splotches of the fake lava on himself. Sierra stops crying and looks at the volcano, along with the other lions. Hunter coughs as he begins to stand up.

SIERRA

Hunter!

LARRY

He's alive!

Immediately, the lions run over to Hunter. Sierra hugs Hunter, who is surprised by this.

SIERRA

I thought you were dead.

Sierra lets go and looks at Hunter.

SIERRA

Are you okay?

Hunter blinks and reveals that he is back to normal.

HUNTER

Yeah, Sierra. Why do you ask?

Happy that Hunter is back to being himself, the lions gasp happily.

LARRY, KATE, SIERRA, SARMOTI, AND SNACK

He's back!

They group hug Hunter, who is confused.

HUNTER

Why are you all so happy?

SIERRA

We thought you'd never go back! You were dressed as Gollum and you started acting like him!

HUNTER

Well, I do remember dressing up like him, I was in my room, but... that's all I remember.

The scene cuts to Siegfried and Roy.

ROY

Oh! Everybody, vait! Sorry, but it turns out ve have one last performance! But from a guest! Please velcome... Michael Jackson!

The crowd cheers as Michael enters. The lions take a peek and are surprised.

HUNTER

Michael Jackson?!

The song "Thriller" begins to play.

MICHAEL JACKSON

It's close to midnight and somethin' evil's lurkin' in the dark

Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart

You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before you make it

You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes

You're paralyzed

The lions start to secretly dance along.

MICHAEL JACKSON

You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run

You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun

You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination

But all the while, you hear a creature creepin' up behind

You're outta time

They're out to get you, there's demons closin' in on every side

They will possess you unless you change the number on the dial

Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together, yeah

All through the night, I'll save you from the terror on the screen

I'll make ya see

Hee-hee

Performers dressed as zombies come out.

HUNTER

Whoa! Look at that!

Michael and the costumed performers perform the zombie dance.

SNACK

Awesome! That's my man!

Snack dances along.

MICHAEL JACKSON

'Cause this is thriller

Thriller night

And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike

You know it's thriller

Thriller night

You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight

ROY

Darkness falls across ze land, ze midnight hour is close at hand

Creatures crawl in search of blood to terrorize y'all's neighborhood

And whosoever shall be found vithout ze soul for getting down

Must stand and face ze hounds of Hell and rot inside a corpse's shell

And zhough you fight to stay alive, your body starts to shiver

For no mere mortal can resist

Ze evil of ze thriller

The song ends and Roy laughs evilly. The audience applauds.

SNACK

Whoo! Hee-hee! I told you it'd be a thriller!

LARRY

Great. Let's go now.

The lions begin to leave and head for home. The scene fades to Larry's house.

LARRY

So Hunter, how'd you like your Halloween?

HUNTER

It was amazing! That was, like, the best experience I ever had! Well, except the part you said about Gollum.

LARRY

Yeah.

HUNTER

Instead, I'll dress up as Michael Jackson!

Hunter brings out his Michael Jackson costume.

LARRY

Hey, excellent idea! That'll be much better than Gollum!

Hunter is now in his Michael Jackson costume and performs a bit from the Panther Dance.

HUNTER

Hee-hee! Cha'mone!

The lions and Snack laugh, enjoying Hunter's little performance.

SNACK

That's my man!

LARRY

That's great, Hunter!

Immediately, Hunter stops dancing and looks at Larry.

HUNTER

Who's Hunter?

The lions and Snack stop smiling and become worried.

SNACK

That's... not my man.

LARRY

Well, you, right?

HUNTER

I'm Michael Jackson.

Horror music is heard as Larry gasps in shock and the lions and Snack facepalm themselves in frustration.

KATE, SIERRA, AND SARMOTI

Oh, God...

LARRY

Oh, no.

SNACK

Not again!

SIERRA

Just kill me now.

KATE

When is this gonna end?

SARMOTI

Someone suck my blood.

The screen then cuts to black.


End file.
